Dear All.

Well, what can I say. It's been a hectic half a year for the most of us, with competitions and trainings to juggle on top of all that academic bitch we have had to go through. And the results, the fruits of our education, have just ripened with the revelation of our block test results. I think we all have to agree that except for the exceptional few, they have been absolutely horrendous.

I don't know about the rest of you but I am damn bloody disappointed with what has been "achieved" by myself. God above knows that during the holidays I spent a whole chunk of my precious time actually mugging for this stupid series of tests, and I think the amount of time spent on self-learning during this period of time outweighs all of that accumulated over the past 4 years. Yet it wasn't enough, yet it wasn't sufficient to push my score beyond the seconday school level of at least a C6. That is absolutely pathetic. Maybe I'm just stupid, maybe it's just not meant to be and you know what, it really pisses me off.

Well, I can always comfort myself with the saying that "block tests are meant for you to fail", but I wonder what that would serve to achieve. Self-gratification? Ego-booster? Or just another plain irresponsible way to wave off my laziness for the past 7 months? The truth is this: JC is really DIFFERENT this time. You know all that bullcrap your teachers in sec 4 has been telling you? About how secondary 4 is different from PSLE? THAT was the shit. But this time I'm sorry to say that it definitely is not. Look at what one month of chiong-ing has done for me. Nuts I tell you. It's all come down to nothing because I just couldn't understand things at this kind of deeper level that JC brings to you. And it really boils down to one main thing: MY LACK OF CONSISTENCY.

You see? Like most of you I don't listen in lectures and tutorials. I happily sleep my time away, living in the dream that one day in a burst of inspiration and motivation I'll catch up on all that I've missed. Like most of you I never do my homework, thinking that it isn't worth my time anyway. After all, I can always do them some other time, when I'm not too busy watching anime and playing computer games. And when those mini-tests come, heck lah! The percentage so small like I give shit like that.

Sounds familiar? Face it that's YOU. And me too.

Wake up. Do you really think there's nothing wrong with how you view your work? Yeah fine, this blasted mentality has seen you through the past ten years in this bastard of an education system. But that doesn't mean that it's gonna work now. I mean just look at your results ok, you really think this is gonna work? Even if you scrap through this year, how about the next? How about your A levels? How about medicine? Scholarship? S-paper? University entry? Do you wanna be forced into taking a uni-course you absolutely detest and be stuck for the rest of your life doing something you don't even have an inkling of interest in? This is really serious ok. Let me give you a few numbers? 200 medical students per year in NUS, 2 Singaporeans per year going to MIT, 50 A-star scholars a year. Have you any idea how tight the competition is. With this kinda results now what do you think you're gonna do in 2 years time (not considering the NS bullshit)? Probably some physical education course in NIE don't you think.

Seriously, what do you want to do with your life? I think its really time for us to sit back and think about it for once. The past 17 years has been fun and play for all of us, especially since we're from IP, don't have idiot O levels. Don't you agree it really is enough. Our teen-years are drying up. Before you know it we're gonna be fully circumcised adults, supposedly able to stand up for ourselves and constantly make logical decisions. If we don't start training ourselves now, then when?

Of course all this so far has just been talk. Now what we truly need is the DISCIPLINE. Oh God, how fervently I pray everyday for this virtue to drop onto me suddenly from the sky. But you know yourself that it doesn't work that way, and that human characteristics are the hardest to change. Its maddeningly tough, and we're gonna face so much hardships in this process of changing ourselves that it could very well drive us insane. But come to think of it, wouldn't it all be worthwhile? Really. Don't you want to be somebody?

I don't wanna delve into the hard details of how you should spend your time and everything. I think we're all smart enough to come out with solutions for ourselves on our own. But for now, I shall make a public resolution for myself in front of all of you.

NEVER WILL I LAG BEHIND IN LECTURES ANYMORE. EVEN IF I SLEEP I WILL MAKE SURE THAT BY THE END OF THE WEEK I KNOW EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, AND NO LESS THAN EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN GONE THROUGH IN LECTURES.

TUTORIALS WILL HEREBY NEVER BE LEFT EMPTY OR BEHIND SCHEDULE. THEY WILL BE DONE PROMPTLY AND WITH UTMOST DILIGENCE WITH THE ENDING OF ANY LECTURE.

These are my 2 commandments for now. What about you? God help me. I am only human and I know I am bound to err. But all I can do is to try my best to bring myself around, I hope all of you can do the same. It's really time.

Let's work together in this ok? We're still that heartwarming, earth-shattering, unstoppable 62 class. Remember orientation? Remember how much we did for each other? The fun continues, but let's not forget what we're truly in this damn school for, what our futures might hold for us. We're all individuals with limitless potential, and let's not waste that.

Just give me one more "six-two" ok? We can do this.

-tiap